He was very complimentary. People tell me, “Mr. President, you put the fear of God in God.”
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Author: Patricia Marx
Clapback to the Future
PAST: Bodysculpting. PRESENT: Looksmaxxing. FUTURE: Vibeplundering.
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Author: Henry Alford
Mr. Men I’ve Dated
Meet my exes, including Mr. Natural Deodorant and Mr. Conspiracy.
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Author: Liana Finck
Job Opportunities for Former Screenwriters
Standup Comedian: Yes, it pays less than minimum wage—and that’s if you get paid—but, on the bright side, you’ll get lots of blurry photos of you sweating near a microphone.
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Author: Emily Winter
Clearing Out Dad’s Room
It was filled with things he had purchased on Temu, which he’d recently discovered (much to my mom’s annoyance).
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Author: Navied Mahdavian
The Pied Piper
The man with the fife was good at getting rid of Hamelin’s rats. What, the townspeople wondered, could he do with the children?
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Author: Simon Rich
Things I Am Worried Will Happen While I Drink Coffee from My “Super Dad” Mug
Literally any mom might see me.
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Author: Eddie Small
I Am Your Dad’s Nest Camera and I Am Ready for Shit to Go Down
You taking an after-dinner stroll? BAM—I hit you with my floodlight. You taking out the trash? BAM—floodlight again.
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Author: Carrie McCrossen
Power Play: Behind the Music of “Heated Rivalry”
The show’s creator, Jacob Tierney, on his sonic past and future.
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Author: Zoe Si
Beyond Banners
A few things to add to the M.S.G. rafters to commemorate the 2026 N.B.A. Finals.
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Author: Benjamin Schwartz