Fuck, Marry, Kill: Income-tax returns, life-insurance policies, that folder explaining benefits that you received from H.R. when you were onboarded, and then immediately lost?
Go to Source
Author: Shannon Reed
Some Legacy Sequels We Hope Are Never Made
But if you’re reading this and want to green-light one, please don’t hesitate to be in touch.
Go to Source
Author: Jason Adam Katzenstein, Emily Murnane
Instructions for Watching My Girlfriend While I’m Out of Town
Make sure that water is always available to Blythe, but don’t freak out if she doesn’t drink much. Blythe believes that hydration is “a conspiracy invented by Gatorade.”
Go to Source
Author: Blythe Roberson
The Scourge of A.1.
For A.1. to cause such fear is understandable, because many of us are not comfortable with condiments.
Go to Source
Author: Ian Frazier
Welcome to Career Day
I spend two-ish hours messing around with an A.I. chatbot, as per the company’s new mandate, teaching it how to do my job so that it can replace me. Any questions?
Go to Source
Author: Claire Friedman
Seven Steps to Financial Success, According to a Guy Who Won a Multimillion-Dollar Lawsuit Against the Circus
You can optimize your chances by insuring that you’re in the best possible position to get whacked in the face by wealth and prosperity.
Go to Source
Author: Graeme Carey
Google Chrome’s Latest Updates
We understand that downloading and re-starting your browser disrupts your workflow, but you weren’t working anyway.
Go to Source
Author: Talib Babb
The Least-Wanted Items at My Parents’ Estate Sale
Seventeen years’ worth of National Geographics, stacked by my father in order of “least to most erotic.” Price: $400.
Go to Source
Author: Brian Braiker
What Your Swimwear Says About You
Yellow polka-dot bikini: you were deeply affected by a Yoplait Light commercial as a youth and consider this suit to be the physical manifestation of confidence.
Go to Source
Author: Madeline Goetz, Viktoria Shulevich
First-Date Montage
Yes, I am odd, but I am still multifaceted.
Go to Source
Author: Mads Horwath