HR Reminds Employees In Office Relationship They Should Give HR Some Sugar Too

NEW YORK—Saying the policy was intended to ensure all workers felt fairly treated, Cardiff Digital’s human resources department reminded employees Monday that if they are in an office relationship, HR should get some sugar, too. ā€œEmployees in office romances should remember the deal here, which is that if you’re…

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Struggling U.S. Military Requires Every Soldier To Recruit Additional 300 New Troops

WASHINGTON—Emphasizing how important it was for Americans to get in on the ground floor while they still could, a struggling U.S. military announced Monday that it would now require every soldier to recruit an additional 300 new troops. ā€œIf you’re interested in joining the U.S. military, you should act fast because…

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Insomnia Experts Unanimously Recommend Giving Up And Scrolling ā€˜The Onion’ Until Daybreak

CHICAGO—Evaluating a number of available treatment options for chronic insomnia, sleep experts at Rush University released a report Monday touting a unanimous recommendation to just give up and scroll The Onion’s website until daybreak. ā€œAfter extensively reviewing studies on the best ways to alleviate insomnia, or…

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