Each one of our lucky clients will be expertly matched with a Skarsgård sibling, which are indeterminate in number.
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Author: Sarah Hutto
Misophonia Fireworks
Now with even shorter fuses!
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Author: Kyle Bravo
Paul Revere’s Unabridged Instructions
Light twelve lanterns and give yourself a mop-top haircut if it seems like more of a cultural invasion.
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Author: Evan Allgood
America!: Insane Clown Posse Changes Their Name to Pretty Reasonable Clown Posse
The Overton window of bonkersness has shifted so far that songs like “Still Stabbin’ ” sound Sinatra-esque.
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Author: Ali Fitzgerald
My Great Meeting with God
He was very complimentary. People tell me, “Mr. President, you put the fear of God in God.”
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Author: Patricia Marx
Clapback to the Future
PAST: Bodysculpting. PRESENT: Looksmaxxing. FUTURE: Vibeplundering.
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Author: Henry Alford
Mr. Men I’ve Dated
Meet my exes, including Mr. Natural Deodorant and Mr. Conspiracy.
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Author: Liana Finck
Job Opportunities for Former Screenwriters
Standup Comedian: Yes, it pays less than minimum wage—and that’s if you get paid—but, on the bright side, you’ll get lots of blurry photos of you sweating near a microphone.
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Author: Emily Winter
Clearing Out Dad’s Room
It was filled with things he had purchased on Temu, which he’d recently discovered (much to my mom’s annoyance).
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Author: Navied Mahdavian
The Pied Piper
The man with the fife was good at getting rid of Hamelin’s rats. What, the townspeople wondered, could he do with the children?
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Author: Simon Rich