The Onion’s 2018 Emmy Predictions
The 70th Primetime Emmy Awards, hosted by Michael Che and Colin Jost, will honor a combination of good and bad things that were on television from the past year. Here are The Onion’s predictions for this year’s winners.
High School Drama Teacher Already Has Pretty Good Idea Who He’ll Pick For Fall Girlfriend
DUBUQUE, IA—Noting his decades of teaching experience and keen eye for talent, East Dubuque High School drama teacher David Vargo already has a pretty good idea who he’ll pick to be this fall’s girlfriend. “There were so many strong contenders this year, so it took me a while to narrow it down, but at the end of the…
Second Fatwa Issued On Salman Rushdie For Derivative, Uninspired 13th Novel
TEHRAN, IRAN—Expressing consternation and disgust at the Man Booker Prize winner’s latest offering, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei issued a second fatwa against Salman Rushdie Friday for publishing a derivative and uninspired 13th novel, The Golden House. “This book is not only an affront to Allah, but also to any reader of…
Mike Pence Struggling To Reckon With Vision Of Prophet Muhammad Revealing That VP Destined To Become Next President
WASHINGTON—Deeply troubled by the communication received from a divine messenger, Mike Pence was reportedly struggling Friday to reckon with a recent vision of the Prophet Muhammad revealing that the vice president was destined to become the next president of the United States. “He told me that I was the chosen one…
Here Are The 2018 National Book Award Longlists, Featuring A Fresh Category
Fifty nominated books now remain in contention for prizes in fiction, nonfiction, poetry, young people’s literature — and, in a fresh twist to the annual slate, translated literature.
(Image credit: Kimberly Koppen/Flickr)
Staycation Romance
Jiji Lee writes a humorous diary of a staycation with her husband in their one-bedroom apartment.
Bradley Cooper On The Personal Story Behind ‘A Star Is Born’
In his directorial debut, the actor plays an aging musician who falls for and mentors an up-and-coming talent — played by Lady Gaga — even as his own troubles surface.
(Image credit: Warner Bros. Pictures)
‘Forever’: A Couple’s Comfortable Coexistence Comes To A Crossroads
Maya Rudolph and Fred Armisen play a reasonably happy couple whose relationship undergoes a series of big changes in this low-key, 8-episode meditation on love, life and roads not taken.
(Image credit: Colleen Hayes/Amazon Prime)
‘Hale County This Morning, This Evening’ Is A Fascinating And Frustrating Collage
First-time filmmaker RaMell Ross’ camera captures fleeting moments in the lives of two black young men in rural Alabama, and refuses to supply us with context. We grow to care about them anyway.
(Image credit: The Cinema Guild)