Yellow polka-dot bikini: you were deeply affected by a Yoplait Light commercial as a youth and consider this suit to be the physical manifestation of confidence.
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Author: Madeline Goetz, Viktoria Shulevich
First-Date Montage
Yes, I am odd, but I am still multifaceted.
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Author: Mads Horwath
Everything That Will Happen After I Silence My Phone at the Movie Theatre
The customer-service representative from whom I’ve been waiting for a callback for fifty-three hours will call me back one minute before I turn my phone back on.
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Author: Meg Reid
Admissions Tour: Being a Person
In the real world, you can choose your meal plan: vegan, kosher, Sustainable, Totally Unsustainable, What Zendaya Eats in a Day, American Girl Doll food. Just swipe your card.
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Author: Jessica Bacal
Lions, Lions and Lions, Oh My! 15 Photos of the Most Majestic Big Cats Found Throughout Africa
Ranging from cubs to adults, this selection of shots from the Smithsonian Magazine Photo Contest showcases the apex predator of the savanna
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Help—I’m a Narrator Stuck in the Calm.com Meditation App!
Sure, rhythmic, pattering rain can help regulate your nervous system, and trigger your autonomous sensory meridian response, but me? I’m wet.
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Author: Erita Chen
America!: Newly Declassified Secrets from the C.I.A.’s Ice-Cream Archives
Orange-creamsicle lovers and a cult of soft-serve radicals, revealed.
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Author: Ali Fitzgerald
Instructions for Pet-Sitting My Dog, Cerberus
It’s just an old habit for him to block the front door. If he’s stationed there, do not order delivery.
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Author: Brandon Follick
Eat the Lotus!
Times editors realized that, unless emergency procedures were initiated, the next day’s edition would contain not a single article about Christopher Nolan’s “The Odyssey”!
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Author: Anthony Lane
A Mostly True History of Marco Rubio
No one knows Marco Rubio’s age. It’s part of his mystery. So is his height. Look it up. No one knows.
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Author: Christopher Gangemi