To help you avoid coming off like a desperate or insensitive fucking creep, The Onion provides this handy guide to the things you should never say to a strip club performer.
Go to Source
Author:
Things To Never Say To A Strip Club Performer
No One Has Heart To Tell Man That They Are All Figments Of His Untethered Mind
EUGENE, OR—Unsure how to break it to him that they didn’t exist, sources in the head of local man Marshall Horbol confirmed Monday that no one had the heart to tell the 32-year-old they were all merely figments of his untethered mind. “I’m worried he would take it really hard if he found out that everyone in his life…
Go to Source
Author:
California To Begin Offering Assisted Suicide To Any Over-30 Bachelor Currently Rewatching ‘Cowboy Bebop’
SACRAMENTO, CA—Calling it a humane answer to a heart-wrenching reality afflicting thousands across the state, California Gov. Gavin Newsom signed a bill Monday legalizing assisted suicide for any over-30 bachelor currently rewatching the 1998 anime series Cowboy Bebop. “Today, we are offering an escape from…
Go to Source
Author:
New FanDuel ‘Double Play’ Contest Offers Users Chance To Win Back House
NEW YORK—Touting the new competition as perfect for anyone who wanted to continue placing bets after the NFL season ended, FanDuel unveiled a new “Double Play” contest Monday, offering users a chance to win back their house. “You may have made some risky bets in the NFL playoffs and lost your house—who hasn’t? That’s…
Go to Source
Author:
‘Hijab Butch Blues’ challenges stereotypes and upholds activist self-care
Lamya H’s memoir is a study guide on Islam and a queer manifesto that follows them from a childhood a move to the U.S. through questions of faith, gender and sexuality.
(Image credit: The Dial Press)
Go to Source
Author: Ashlee Green
Couple Leaves Baby At Airport Check-In After Refusing To Buy Child Ticket
A couple rushing to catch a flight abandoned their baby at an airport check-in desk in Tel Aviv after being told they would need to buy a separate ticket for the child. What do you think?
Go to Source
Author:
From meet-cutes to happy endings, romance readers feel the love as sales heat up
Romance novel sales are surging, even as overall book sales experience their first decline in years. And no, fans are not embarrassed by their love of the genre.
(Image credit: Catie Dull/NPR)
Go to Source
Author: Elena Burnett
Adidas is looking to repurpose unsold Yeezy products. Here are some of its options
Retail experts say Yeezys will be particularly difficult to resell given their distinct design and damaged reputation. But not doing so could cost Adidas up to 500 million euros.
(Image credit: Spencer Platt/Getty Images)
Go to Source
Author: Juliana Kim
Super Bowl commercials, from Adam Driver(s) to M&M candies; the hits and the misses
Advertisers spent up to $7 million for every 30 seconds of airtime during Super Bowl LVII. Here’s a sampling of what worked – and didn’t – in the most expensive ad showcase on American television.
(Image credit: Squarespace)
Go to Source
Author: Eric Deggans
Director Sam Pollard on ‘Bill Russell: Legend’
NPR’s Michel Martin speaks with director Sam Pollard about his new documentary Bill Russell: Legend, which is now streaming on Netflix.
Go to Source
Author: