Company Referral Program Offers Bonuses For Recommending Potential Employees To Fire

NEW YORK—Calling it an amazing opportunity to get more involved and earn some extra cash, local company VisionLab reportedly began a referral program Monday that offered bonuses for nominating potential employees to fire. “If you know someone that you’ve worked with and think they would be a great fit, please send us…

Read more…

Go to Source
Author:

Man Shopping For Cheap Sunglasses Troubled By Reviews Calling Sunglasses Cheap

SEATTLE—Expressing disappointment in the apparent lack of quality, a local man shopping online for cheap sunglasses Monday reported that he felt troubled by reviews calling the sunglasses he was looking at cheap. “I just wanted to buy some shades for a very, very small amount of money, but every time I find ones I…

Read more…

Go to Source
Author:

Grandpa Surprisingly Willing To Talk About Man He Killed

HERMISTON, OR—As the elderly patriarch spoke of his experiences in the Vietnam War, sources confirmed Monday that Grandpa was surprisingly willing to talk about the man he killed. “Usually war vets will hold it close to the chest and not want to explain anything, but Grandpa Steve was just going on and on…

Read more…

Go to Source
Author:

Mario, Not So Super at Forty

Shouts & Murmurs by Simon Rich: Decades of the running, the jumping, and the smashing the bricks with the head takes its toll. Sorry, Princess, it’s spinal-fusion time.

Go to Source
Author: Simon Rich