At the gym? In theory, but that one spandex guy is there today and he’s making wet little groans.
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Author: Olivia de Recat, Ella Quittner
Will Fox News pay for spreading lies about voter fraud?
New York Times journalist Jeremy Peters explains Dominion Voting Systems’ $1.6 billion lawsuit against the network. “Legal experts tell me that rarely have they seen a case this strong,” he says.
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Author: Terry Gross
‘Harry Potter’ books will be adapted into a decade-long TV series
Each season will be based on one book in the beloved series by controversial author J.K. Rowling, and the cast will be different from the films. Some fans are unhappy about Rowling’s involvement.
(Image credit: Ken Kinzie/Universal Orlando Resort via Getty Images)
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Author: Kaitlyn Radde
Midwest Battered By Beautiful Weather
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Mary Quant, fashion designer who styled the Swinging Sixties, dies at 93
Quant made playful clothes for young modern women they could wear to work and “run to the bus in.” Her London shop was an epicenter of youth culture that popularized hot pants and miniskirts.
(Image credit: Ronald Dumont/Getty Images)
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Author: Neda Ulaby
Experts Say 2 Hours Of Sleep Plenty If Psychosis No Big Deal For You
NEW YORK—Contradicting earlier recommendations on the proper amount of rest adults need each night, researchers at Columbia University released a report Thursday claiming that two hours of sleep was plenty for anyone who didn’t think psychosis was a big deal. “If you’re fine with completely losing touch with reality,…
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Embattled Dalai Lama Quietly Reincarnated To Remote Tibetan Village
DHARAMSHALA, INDIA—In an effort to avoid further controversy after the religious leader’s recent scandal, the embattled Dalai Lama was said to have been quietly reincarnated to a remote Tibetan village Thursday. “In light of recent events, His Holiness has been reincarnated to a rural temple where he will live out…
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Collectors Explain Why They Acquire Nazi Memorabilia
With many claiming their intentions were not even the slightest bit antisemitic, The Onion asked several collectors of Third Reich memorabilia why they spend so much money on Nazi art, uniforms, and items personally owned by Adolf Hitler.
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Say Goodbye To Dry Chicken Breast By Killing Yourself
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I Am a Giant Tortoise, and Soon It Will Be My Birthday
If all I do for my birthday is crudely draw my intentions in red sand, I’ll probably feel disappointed.
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Author: Kerry Elson