A windmill of conservative Supreme Court Justices, a glass ceiling that’s theoretically possible to get the ball through, and other obstacles.
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Author: Ivan Ehlers, Eugenia Viti
How the hard-right turn in the Arizona GOP is an anti-democracy experiment
2020 election deniers won key races in the GOP primary. New York Times Magazine journalist Robert Draper says the swing state is a bellwether for the rest of the nation.
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Author: Terry Gross
Coroner rules Anne Heche’s death an accident
According to the the LA County Coroner’s report, the cause was inhalation and thermal injuries. The actor died on Sunday, after she crashed her car earlier this month.
(Image credit: Mike Coppola/Getty Images)
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Author: Andrew Limbong
Inspiring Woman Becomes Professional Surfer Despite Shark Biting Head Off
SAN CLEMENTE, CA—In awe of the woman’s resilience, sources confirmed Friday that 23-year-old Maya Franklin had achieved her goal of becoming a professional surfer despite surviving a shark attack as a teenager that resulted in the loss of her head. “No one thought Maya would ever surf again after that shark took her…
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Boyfriend Not Sure If He Expected To Leave Party Just Because Girlfriend Heading Out In Ambulance
COLUMBUS, OH—Sighing with exasperation that his date decided to take off early, local boyfriend Dan Havenforth was reportedly unsure if he was also expected to leave the party Friday just because his girlfriend was heading out in an ambulance. “I’m not ready to leave yet, should I be expected to abruptly end my night…
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Serena Williams Looks Back On Her Career Highlights
Serena Williams recently announced her retirement from tennis after a sterling career that has included 23 Grand Slam singles titles, the second-most of all time. She recently sat down with The Onion to look back on the most memorable moments of her career.
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Meet this year’s child Mullet Championship finalists
It can take years to grow the perfect mullet, and these kids have put in their time to take home the 2022 USA Mullet Championship trophy. Here’s a peek at some of the most remarkable contestant ‘dos.
(Image credit: USA Mullet Championships)
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Author: Vanessa Romo
Concerned Mother Pores Over Troubled Son’s Journal For Anything That Could Implicate Her
WADSWORTH, OH—Wanting to detect any danger before it was too late, concerned mother Kelsey Morales told reporters Thursday that she had spent hours poring over her troubled son’s journal for anything that could possibly implicate her. “There’s probably nothing to worry about, but I just want to go through it all in…
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Reflection Looks Way Drunker Than Woman Anticipated
SANDY SPRINGS, GA—Startled by the glazed-over pair of eyes staring back at her in the mirror, local woman Kelsey Houghton confirmed Wednesday that her reflection was way drunker than she had anticipated. “Jesus fucking Christ, what happened?” said Houghton, who reportedly leaned close to the bathroom mirror,…
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Talking about monkeypox? Then you should be talking about sex
Despite the possibility of stigmatizing queer sex, experts say it’s important to keep sex at the center of the conversation around monkeypox.
(Image credit: Spencer Platt/Getty Images)
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Author: Andrew Limbong