Frustrated CEO Stuck In Dead-End 7-Figure Job

NEW YORK—Bemoaning the lack of opportunities for growth in his current position, Eakins Analytics CEO Ryan Hammond expressed frustration Tuesday at being stuck in a dead-end seven-figure job. “Honestly, when I try to picture my future at this place, all I can imagine is spending decade after decade stalled out…

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Gymnastics Program Gives Child Self-Discipline Needed To Sustain Lifelong Eating Disorder

AURORA, IL—Praising the competitive program for shaping the young girl into the obsessive woman she would one day become, sources confirmed Tuesday that local 10-year-old Sofia Haliday’s after school gymnastics club was giving her the self-discipline needed to sustain an eating disorder for life. “She has a great team…

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