Old Man Being A Little Showy About How Hobbled He Is

SKOKIE, IL—Rolling their eyes at the octogenarian’s exaggerated, feeble movements, sources confirmed Tuesday that local 89-year-old Melvin Dressel was being a little showy about how hobbled he was. “We get it, you use a cane,” said sources, who expressed their exasperation as they watched the osteoarthritis-riddled…

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Ominous New Report Just Lists Places To Hide

UNDISCLOSED LOCATION—Offering no further data or reason for the information’s release, an ominous new report published Tuesday by anonymous researchers from an unknown institution just lists places to hide. “Underground tunnels, remote cabins in the woods unreachable by vehicles, and caves in desolate mountain regions…

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Writers Guild of America goes on strike

Members of the Writers Guild of America walk the picket line in 2007.

Members of the Writers Guild of America are asking for a larger piece of the streaming platforms’ pie. The WGA said picketing would begin Tuesday afternoon.

(Image credit: Spencer Platt/Getty Images)

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Author: Mandalit del Barco

Chris Paul Exits Suns-Nuggets Game 2 With Groin Injury

The Suns ruled Chris Paul out for the remainder of Monday’s Game 2 against the Nuggets after the star guard sustained a groin injury in the second half.

With the Suns up, 59–51, with five minutes left in the third quarter, Paul attempted to box out Nuggets guard Kentavious Caldwell-Pope for a rebound. The veteran guard appeared to be in noticeable pain after the play, and took his time to run up the floor before eventually exiting the game and heading to the locker room.

The team later announced Paul would not return to the contest due to groin tightness.

While the extent of Paul’s injury remains to be seen, the ailment adds another unfortunate entry to a slew of injuries the 37-year-old has faced throughout his career in the postseason. 

With Game 3 slated for Friday in Phoenix, Paul, who was seen walking gingerly with trainers to the locker room, will have some extra time to rest in hopes of making a return. Prior to exiting, Paul contributed eight points, six assists and five rebounds in 25 minutes.

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Author: Jelani Scott