The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Dianne Feinstein

Questions about the cognitive fitness of Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) have spurred a difficult conversation among Democrats about whether she is able to perform her duties as an elected official. The Onion spoke to the long-serving senator about judicial nominations, reports of her mental decline, and plans for her…

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Trans Teen Hatches Nefarious Plot To Undergo Years Of Medical Treatments And Counseling To Win At Swimming

STOCKTON, CA—Cackling as the steps of the dastardly plan crystallized in her mind, local trans teen Brie Chandler told reporters Tuesday that she had hatched a nefarious plot to undergo years of medical treatments and counseling to win at swimming. “It’s oh, so simple: several years of sweet-talking medical…

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