Justice Thomas Given Disciplinary Trip To Gary, Indiana

GARY, IN—Asserting that the jurist had shown clear ethical lapses in accepting lavish gifts and globe-trotting trips from Republican megadonor Harlan Crow, the Supreme Court reportedly dispatched Justice Clarence Thomas on a disciplinary trip to Gary, IN Friday. “The associate justice displayed evident poor judgment…

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Conservative Boycotting Bud Light Forced To Drink 6 Cans Of Something Else Before Hitting Kids

SIOUX FALLS, SD—After he vowed not to patronize the Anheuser-Busch company because of its marketing partnership with a transgender TikTok star, sources reported Friday that a local conservative man boycotting Bud Light was forced to drink six cans of something else before hitting his kids. “Tonight I’d love nothing…

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