Embarrassed Man Accidentally Says ‘Hello’ To Coworker Instead Of ‘I Feel Like Crying All The Time’

PORTSMOUTH, NH—Insisting that the statement had simply slipped out of his mouth before he could stop himself, embarrassed Seacoast Ventures employee Kevin Bryant told reporters Tuesday that he had accidentally said “Hello” to his coworker instead of “I feel like crying all the time.” “Oh God, I totally misspoke back…

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‘Could You Please Stop Looking At Furry Porn On Company Computers?’ Asks Orwellian IT Guy Striking Latest Blow For Surveillance State

NEW YORK—In a brazen display of authoritarianism that would no doubt terrify privacy advocates worldwide, Orwellian IT professional Kevin Wu reportedly asked Thursday if employee Andrew Miles could stop looking at furry pornography on his Geneva Solutions company computer, thereby striking the latest blow for…

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