Queen Elizabeth II Dies

Queen Elizabeth II passed away at Balmoral Castle at the age of 96, capping off an almost 70-year reign, the longest of any British monarch, which oversaw the dissolution of much of the British Empire. What do you think?

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Guy In Line For Port-A-Potty Won’t Stop Assuring Everyone He Pisses Quick

CHICAGO—Repeatedly mumbling “Don’t worry” and “I got this” to every person within earshot, local man Jacob Winston reportedly would not stop assuring everyone in line for the port-a-potty Friday that he pissed quick. “I’ll be so fast, I swear,” said the 29-year-old music festival attendee, who turned around multiple…

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Controversial State Farm Ad Features Patrick Mahomes Insisting There No Way To Insure Against God’s Judgment

KANSAS CITY, MO—The insurance company and one of its spokespeople were reportedly in hot water Thursday evening when a controversial State Farm ad featured Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes insisting there was no way to insure against God’s judgment. “Things happen—cruel things, horrible things—to those…

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