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Apartment Building Washing Machine Only Accepts Money Orders
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Woman Beelining For Music Festival Porta Potties Must Have Come Specifically To See Them

MOUNT STERLING, KY—Saying she appeared to have purchased her ticket solely for the self-contained chemical toilets, witnesses told reporters Wednesday that Cavalcade Folk and Roots Festival attendee Angelica Brichford, who was spotted beelining it for the porta potties, must have come specifically to see them. “The…
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Russia Invades Ukraine: The First 100 Days

Friday, June 3, marked 100 days since Russia launched an invasion of Ukraine, and the war shows no signs of ending. The Onion looks back at the conflict’s key events so far.
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Apple Users Will Soon Be Able To Unsend And Edit Sent iPhone Text Messages

Apple has revealed that users will soon be able to delete and edit iMessages after they have been sent, a feature that will be available later this year in an iOS 16 update. What do you think?
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Racism Outshines Platinum Jubilee
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Author: Nina Sharma
‘The Facemaker’ profiles the British surgeon who treated WWI’s disfigured soldiers

Lindsey Fitzharris’ new book tells the true story of Harold Gillies, a British surgeon whose team worked to reconstruct the faces of some of the 280,000 men who suffered facial trauma during WWI.
(Image credit: Macmillan )
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Author: Maureen Corrigan
‘Top Gun: Maverick’ faces a copyright infringement lawsuit
“Top Gun: Maverick” has raked in more than half a billion dollars at box offices worldwide. But behind the scenes, there’s some litigation brewing over the movie.
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Author: Joe Hernandez
Nation’s Moms Announce There Some Nutty People Out There

WASHINGTON—Delivering a stern warning to all 330 million Americans, the nation’s moms announced at a press conference Tuesday that there are some real nutty people out there. “You really have to be alert out there, because you never know who’s a bit off,” Martha Thorburn said on behalf of the country’s mothers, while…
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330 Million Dead Following Mass Shooting

WASHINGTON—In the aftermath of a deadly rampage that stretched from coast to coast, authorities reported Tuesday that more than 330 million Americans had been found dead following yet another mass shooting. “The perpetrator was a lone gunman who slayed victims in more than 30,000 cities, towns, and villages across the…
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