All about Men and the women who love them!
MEDFORD, MA—With its groundbreaking new research into what causes acute episodes of panic, a study published Thursday in The Journal Of Child Psychology And Psychiatry has established a link between severe anxiety and holding the broken halves of mother’s favorite vase as the doorknob turns. “Our data show that high…
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ROCHESTER, MN—Reflecting that it never got easier to break the tragic news to the family, surgeon Peter Broadwell reportedly lost another patient under the operating table Wednesday. “Goddamn it, she was right here—how the hell did she just disappear?” said the Mayo Clinic thoracic surgeon, who rooted around under the…
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Author: Rima Parikh
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Author: Julia Edelman, Ginny Hogan, Jason Adam Katzenstein
Floyd was murdered by a police officer in Minneapolis in 2020. Washington Post reporters Robert Samuels and Toluse Olorunnipa reconstruct the course of his life in His Name is George Floyd.
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Author: Dave Davies
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The U.S. is in the midst of a significant shortage of infant formula, with over 40% of expected supplies currently out of stock, leading to concerns about infant health and outrage from parents. The Onion tells you what you need to know about the infant formula shortage.
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WAUKESHA, WI—Reminding himself that forgiveness was above all a gift to himself, enlightened 8-year-old Trevor Brandt reportedly realized Wednesday that chasing a vendetta was no way to spend his entire bumper car ride. “Sure, I could go and smash into that kid’s car in retribution, but God only gave me so long on…
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The most catastrophic pandemic in a generation, Covid-19 has left many millions dead and even more infected. Could those who have managed to avoid the virus provide us with clues to how we might contain such pathogens in the future? The Onion asked those who haven’t had the virus to explain how they avoided it for…
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CINCINNATI—Calling the air freshener their “strongest product yet,” executives at Febreze reportedly began marketing a new rotting rat carcass Wednesday for covering up tough odors. “Whether you’re dealing with an overflowing trash can or a noxious bathroom, Febreze’s new line of bloated, dead rats will cover up that…
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