Friend Maybe Bit Too Available After Having Baby

ROCHESTER, MN—Caught off guard by the new mother’s eagerness to make plans, sources confirmed Tuesday that local woman Elise Andersen was maybe a bit too available after having a baby. “I told her, ‘I totally get that you’re going to have your hands full for a while,’ and she sent me a link to an EDM-themed bar…

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Kamala Harris Spends Day Putting Together Keynote Presentation Of Reasons She Deserves Raise

WASHINGTON—After booking a conference room in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building to focus on the project, Vice President Kamala Harris reportedly spent Tuesday putting together a Keynote presentation on reasons why she deserves a raise. “All right, I definitely want to get right away to the fact that I barely…

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