Los Angeles Residents Giddy After Learning Big Hollywood Movie Being Shot In Their Town

LOS ANGELES—Crowding around the set in hopes of a potential celebrity sighting, Los Angeles residents were reportedly giddy Tuesday after learning that a big Hollywood movie was being shot in their town. “Wow, I can’t believe they’re filming something right here,” said L.A. local Meredith Morton, asking a nearby…

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Single Woman Wonders How Long She’d Be Dead In Apartment Before Anyone Bothered To Come By And Eat Her Face

CHICAGO—Imagining all the ways she could accidentally injure herself without being able to call for help, local single woman Billie Gorman reportedly wondered aloud Tuesday how long she could lie dead in her apartment before anyone bothered to come by and eat her face. “It’s a very real possibility I could be here…

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