Police Flip Through Unsolved Crimes To See What Else They Can Pin On Mentally Disabled Man

HOUSTON, TX—Pleased by the unexpected boon to their department, local police officers reportedly flipped through a list of unsolved crimes Wednesday to see what else they could pin on Andy Poulton, the mentally disabled man currently in their custody. “Let’s see, we’ve got a whole bunch of open burglaries and assault…

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Chinese Man Unsure If ‘Godzilla Vs. Kong’ Actually That Bad Or If Government Altered It

CHENGDU, CHINA—Expressing concerns about the blockbuster’s incoherent narrative and lack of real character development, local man Zhong Wei confirmed Wednesday that he was unsure if Godzilla Vs. Kong was actually this bad or if the Chinese government had simply altered the film. “There are definitely some huge plot…

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What’s the Worst that Could Happen?

You hit the books hard to become the top neurosurgeon in the country, which leads to your abduction by an otherworldly species that needs you to perform a risky procedure on its leader’s glowing cranium.

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Author: Alex Watt