U.S. Plagued By Widespread Website Crashes After Mouse Gets Into Internet

SAN JOSE, CA—Constantly evading frustrated domain hosts’ attempts to trap and remove the pest, many of the nation’s websites began crashing Friday after a mouse got into the internet. “We don’t know where exactly he is, but we know that little bastard is in there somewhere chewing through lines of code, so let us know…
‘How Does This Look?’ We Explore The Newest Winter Styles With This Cardboard Cutout Of Jon Hamm
KD defends legacy, Nets in Twitter exchanges
Emergency Last Responders Loiter Around Scene Pretending To Aid Victims After Most Of The Work Already Done

GREENSBORO, NC—Announcing that everything seemed under control and that they would be most helpful by staying out of the way, emergency last responders loitered around a multi-car pileup Friday pretending to aid victims after most of the work was already done. “Oh, looks like the fire department already used the Jaws…
This $1,600 Kobe Beef Burger Comes With a Gold and Caviar-Infused Bun

Houston’s swanky H Bar is serving up a $1,600 burger that takes conspicuous consumption to a whole new level. While it’s far from the only extravagantly-priced stunt sandwich on the market, the Black Gold burger is surely the first meant to be a gilded tribute to Houston’s oil industry, using actual 24-carat gold leaf in the black brioche bun.
The burger’s other ingredients will be familiar to those who have followed the ultra-expensive burger game: sixteen ounces of Wagyu beef flown in from Japan, seared foie gras, black truffles and truffle aioli, all piled between the striking black and gold bun.

That brioche beauty is infused with both liquid caviar and 24 carat gold before it’s covered in gold leaves and baked, imbuing the blinged-out bun with a unique “Black Gold” appearance meant to be an edible salute to the lucrative Texas oil industry–and definitely not the Soul Asylum power ballad of the same name. The finished Black Gold burger is served with a bottle of 2006 Dom Perignon and a side of hand-cut fries dusted with 24 carat gold powder, in case you’re craving even more gold to eat with your champagne.
The Black Gold burger served at H Bar inside Houston’s Post Oak Hotel is just the luxe property’s latest over-the-top amenity. The hotel, overseen by Houston Rockets owner and hospitality billionaire Tilman Fertitta, also boasts a private helipad, a two-story Rolls-Royce showroom, an on-site Bentley and Bugatti dealership and a 30,000 bottle, $5 million-dollar wine cellar.

In addition to the Black Gold burger deal, the hotel is also offering a ridiculously decadent $1 million wine package with access to 43 vintages of Chateau Mouton Rothschild, multiple bespoke gourmet dinners at the newly-opened The Cellar at The Post Oak Hotel, and, most notably, “His & Hers” Bentleys, a 2020 Continental GT Convertible and a 2020 limited edition Bentagya. Sounds like quite a deal for gazillionaire Houstonians seeking a truly unforgettable Valentine’s Day present.
Beyoncé Teases Ivy Park x Adidas Collab With New Photos and Video
Beyoncé dropped an arty new teaser for an upcoming collab between Ivy Park, her activewear line, and Adidas.
The pop superstar dons multiple pieces from the collection in a new video, which also features K-pop singer CL and several models, as Rolling Stone notes. The clip includes a number of vaguely empowering sound bites like, ”I find love in everything that I do,” “These barriers are not going to stop me,” and “My freedom.”
“Queen Bey” also promoted her new collection in two Instagram posts. The first features her dressed in an orange-accented burgundy jumper and leaning over a vintage “Sting-Ray”-esque bicycle.
The “Spirit” singer wears a red flowing skirt and matching jacket with white-striped sleeves in a second post. The outfit is more than a little reminiscent of a classic Adidas tracksuit.
Beyoncé’s Ivy Park x Adidas collection drops on January 18.
Set Sail In The World’s Most Extravagant Cruise Ship Suites

Not all cruise ship cabins are created equal. Some are small rectangles of space that hardly fit a bed — while others are plush, grand floating palaces with world class amenities, terraces, and thousands of square feet of magnificence. So, for those who have deep pockets and want nothing but the best, check out these seven most over-the-top cruise ship suites that have ever graced the oceans of the world.
Owner’s Suite, Oceania Riviera
Oceania Cruises

The Owner’s Suite on the Oceania Riviera is a 2,000 square foot floating haven with everything you need for a truly 5-star experience.

The suite spans the entire beam of the ship and is furnished with rich pieces from the Ralph Lauren Home Collection in a gorgeous neutral and nautical color palette.

Inside, there’s a large living room, king-size bed, two walk-in closets, indoor and outdoor whirlpool spas, and a music room.

Guests staying in one of the three Owner’s Suites get amenities including free laundry service, exclusive card-only access to the private Executive Lounge, 24-hour butler service, and an ocean-view in-suite bar stocked with premium spirits and wines.

Regent Suite, Seven Seas Splendor
Regent Seven Seas

The lavish Regent Suite on the brand new Seven Seas Splendor that’s launching this year is apparently the largest cruise ship suite in the world at a mammoth 4,443 square feet.

The swanky suite has a master bedroom, guest bedroom, living room, dining room, spa treatment area complete with sauna and steam room, and a private veranda.

Floor-to-ceiling windows allow endless natural light and views of the ocean, which you can watch from the mind-numbingly expensive $200,000 bed.

The bed is custom designed by Swedish brand Hästens, and Regent Seven Seas is calling it “the most luxurious bed at sea” for good reason.
Garden Villa, Norwegian Star
Norwegian Cruise Line

The 3-bedroom Garden Villa suite on the Norwegian Star accommodates up to seven guests across 2,239 square feet and has a massive 4,455 square feet balcony, which is almost unheard of for a cruise ship.

The bedrooms each have a king or queen sized bed and luxury ocean-view bath, and the suite also includes a living room and dining room plus butler and concierge service.

As the name implies, the suite has a private garden on the huge balcony with a hot tub, outdoor dining area, and terrace.
The Owner’s Suite, Hapag-Lloyd Europa 2
Hapag-Lloyd Cruises

Take in the endless open waters from this 1,227 square foot Owner’s Suite on the Hapag-Lloyd Europa 2 that’s decked out in soothing neutral colors, clean lines, minimalistic decor, and a striking Damien Hirst butterfly painting.

The suite has a master bedroom, living room, dining area, guest bathroom, shower with steam sauna, and walk-in closet. For a relaxing bathroom ritual, head to the master bathroom and enjoy the brilliant panoramic views, whirlpool, and daybed.
The Duplex Suite, MSC Meraviglia
MSC Cruises

Spread out on two decks, the stunning Duplex Suite on the MSC Meraviglia has a living area, master bedroom, two bathrooms with tub and shower, and two walk-in wardrobes.

On the second level is a balcony with a whirlpool, lounge chairs to soak up the sun, and uninterrupted views of the ocean.
Reflection Suite, Celebrity Reflection
Celebrity Cruises
Live the suite life in the sleek Reflection Suite that’s tucked away into a secluded corner of the Celebrity Reflection for panoramic views.
The suite is in an impressive 1,636 square feet with two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a private garden with real grass on the deck, hot tub, steam room, sun deck, and an all-glass shower that extends beyond the ship.
Throughout the sitting area are floor-to-ceiling windows, extra high ceilings, and full-height glass doors that offer remarkable views and natural light. And to top it all off, guests will have laundry service, twice-daily housekeeping service, and a private butler.
The Owner’s Suite, Ritz-Carlton Yacht Collection
Later this year, Ritz-Carlton will be rolling out a fleet of three ultra-luxe megayachts called the Ritz-Carlton Yacht Collection. The sleek yachts promise the same level of service as the legendary hotels, and as expected will have a variety of breathtaking suites.
One of these is the Owner’s Suite that can only be described as 1,098 square feet of pure luxury.
Some of the opulent accommodations include a modern living and dining area, custom king bed sleep system, walk-in wardrobe, double vanity and soaking tub in the master bathroom, guest bathroom, and a private terrace that has a whirlpool overlooking the ocean.
Guests can enjoy 24-hour in-suite dining, an espresso machine, and a personal concierge to ensure the entire voyage is as smooth as possible.
What A Way To Go: Even As He Died, Manet Made Life-Affirming Art

In his last years, as he was dying of complications from syphilis, artist Édouard Manet was in agonizing pain — but you’d never know it from his exquisite flower bouquets and vibrant portraits.
(Image credit: Dallas Museum of Art)