Final Round

Contestants compete in Ask Me Another

The final two contestants test their knowledge of everything from world leaders to puppets in this rapid-fire game of smarts and strategy.

(Image credit: Mike Katzif/NPR)

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Tampax Unveils New Find My Tampon App For When One Really Gets Lodged Up There

CINCINNATI—Calling it the “fastest and most effective way” to find a lost or misplaced sanitary product, the makers of Tampax announced Friday the release of a new app called Find My Tampon, which is intended for use when one gets lodged way the hell up in there. “In the event a Tampax user is faced with an emergency…

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Author: The Onion

To My Embalmers

Ethan Kuperberg imagines a humorous note from a pharaoh to the embalmers who will prepare his body and sarcophagus for entombing.

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Author: Ethan Kuperberg

CNN Reveals Bernie Sanders Running For President Of Country With History Of Sexism

WASHINGTON—Calling their bombshell report incredibly damning, CNN revealed Thursday that Democratic candidate Bernie Sanders has been knowingly running a campaign to become president of a country with a long history of sexism. “This new evidence proves beyond a doubt that Bernie Sanders strongly wants to lead a nation…

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Author: The Onion on Politics, shared by The Onion to The Onion

‘Dolittle’ Does A Lot, All Of It Terribly

"Polly want a movie!": Dr. John Dolittle (Robert Downey Jr.) and parrot (voiced by Emma Thompson) are lost at sea in Dolittle.

Robert Downey Jr.’s first post-Marvel Universe foray “is not a film. Dolittle is a crime scene in need of forensic analysis. Something happened here. Something terrible. Something inexplicable.”

(Image credit: Universal Pictures)

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Author: Scott Tobias

Stephen Miller Hurt At Being Passed Over For Job Stalking Female Ambassador

WASHINGTON—After learning that Ukraine police had opened an investigation into whether associates of the president had surveilled the diplomat in Kyiv last year, White House senior advisor Stephen Miller was reportedly upset Thursday at being passed over for a job stalking female U.S. ambassador Marie Yovanovitch.…

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Author: The Onion on Politics, shared by The Onion to The Onion