Financial Advisor Urges Ezekiel Elliott To Set Aside 20% Of Salary For Paying Off Women To Keep Quiet

DALLAS—Referring to the practice as a sound investment that too few players make, Ezekiel Elliott’s financial advisor urged the running back Friday to set aside 20% of his annual salary for paying off women to keep quiet. “We’re thrilled about Zeke’s contract extension, but that money isn’t going to last forever. He…
Piece Of Dog Shit Pretty Picked Over By Time Fly Got There

ALBANY, NY—Observing that the choicest bits were long gone, a local fly confirmed Friday that by the time it discovered the piece of dog shit near a tree in Ridgefield Park, the defecation had been pretty well picked over. “Dang, you can tell this was some real primo shit, probably from a pit bull or something,” said…
Trump Inadvertently Saves Life Of Yemeni Family After Appropriating Pentagon Money For Border Wall
The Affordable Fall Outfit Fashion Girls Are Already Wearing
When we asked stylish Atlanta local Coco Bassey what she likes best about her city, she was quick to call out its diversity. She’s talking, of course, about the city’s cultural diversity, but she also notes the diverse fashion sensibilities on display. “When people think of Southern style, I think the default is to picture preppy, bright prints that are borderline dated, but Atlanta is so much more than that,” she tells us.
Bassey’s personal style has a modern and elevated feel to it, and it’s clearly been influenced by her globetrotting upbringing (she was born in Nigeria, but has lived in Germany, the Czech Republic, and Canada). But that’s not to say that Atlanta hasn’t played a role in shaping her look as well: “I’ve acquired a lot more dresses since I’ve moved down here because it’s so easy to throw on one light layer that lets my skin breathe and then head out the door,” she says about her city.
We’ll take her word for it, especially if it involves this $49 floral frock that she’s currently loving from Walmart. We also don’t need to be asked twice to wear white sneakers, especially when we start transitioning into fall.
The Classic Denim Outfit We Wear for Chic Yet Casual Style
Ah, denim—we could talk about our love for the versatile styling piece all day long (and we often do, as seen here, here, and here). However, there’s one denim outfit in particular we find ourselves wearing over and over again… A pair of cropped jeans plus a button-down plus mules or booties straddles the line between chic and casual so seamlessly it’s pretty much foolproof.
Enter: stylish Dallas native Ashley Robertson, who proves that this uniform (hers is from Walmart) is just the thing to get us through this not-quite-summer-not-quite-fall time of year. The accessories are completely up to you, but we’re really into the minimalistic vibe Robertson created here by adding a simple pair of aviators and an oversize tote.
On How She Dresses: I wear what I’m comfortable in and what makes me feel good. I also look for clothing that isn’t overly trendy. I want something that will give me longevity in my wardrobe.
On This Perfect Fall Outfit: You can never have too many white tops. This white blouse in particular is such a classic, and I love the button details and oversize sleeves. It just feels like a piece I need in my fall wardrobe! Cropped denim is also the perfect transitional piece to wear in the fall months to show off your favorite boots, heels, or mules.
On Dallas-Girl Style: I think people often associate Dallas women with big hair or cowboy boots, but I haven’t found that to be true. It’s a pretty relaxed city, and I tend to think Dallas women dress on the more conservative side. We also love denim and accessories!
On the Best Part About Living in Dallas: Dallas is a crossroad of fashion, food and nightlife. Whether you want to go downtown to the DMA or to a boutique in Highland Park Village, there’s a little bit of everything all within 30 minutes of each other. That’s what makes this city so great!
On the Best Spots in the City: For coffee, Weekend Coffee in downtown is great for grab-and-go (my order: iced cold brew with cream), and Mercat Bistro has a gorgeous patio for brunch. They have the best cappuccinos and fresh croissants! For dinner, you can’t visit Dallas without enjoying some delicious Tex-Mex: Mi Cocina or Javier’s are my favorite spots for a margarita, chips and queso, tacos… Everything is good. For date night or a night out with the girls, I love The Charles, Up on Knox, and Beverly’s.