Raiders receiver Antonio Brown has threatened to not play football if the NFL will not allow him to wear the same helmet he has worn throughout his career, even though it is no longer approved, sources told ESPN.
Back Bedroom Declared Off-Limits To Party Guests Like Forbidden Wing Of Decrepit Gothic Manor
TORRINGTON, CT—Warning that there was nothing for him back there, local woman Chris Redding reportedly declared a bedroom in his apartment off-limits to party guest Claire Upton Friday as if it was a forbidden wing of a decrepit Gothic manor. “Oh, the door past the bathroom? You wouldn’t want to go back there,” said…
Question Marks Indicating Playful Uncertainty About Party’s End Time Mean 9:30 P.M.
Woman Basks In Magic Of Summer While Opening Her Mouth To Sky To Catch Air-Conditioner Drippings
CHICAGO—Letting out an excited cheer and cocking her head back whimsically toward the sky, area woman Jenna Hastings reportedly basked in the magic of summer Friday and spent the afternoon catching air-conditioner drippings in her mouth. “I don’t know what it is, but the sensation of those big drops of dirty…
Men And Women Equally Aroused By Pornography, Study Finds
Neural analysis has found that the sexes are equally aroused by viewing pornography, contradicting the commonly held belief that men are more visually inclined in their sexual tendencies. What do you think?
Koch Foods CEO Applauds Immigrant Arrests As Consequence Of Illegally Accepting Job At Koch Foods
PARK RIDGE, IL—Proclaiming his appreciation for ICE in making sure that those who disobeyed U.S. law were made to pay for their crimes, Koch Foods CEO Joseph Grendys reportedly applauded the arrests of hundreds of immigrant workers Friday as a just consequence for illegally accepting a job at Koch Foods. “These…
‘Fresh Air’ Remembers Toni Morrison With 3 Conversations Over 4 Decades
The Nobel laureate died Monday at 88. Terry Gross talked with Morrison in 1987 after she wrote Beloved, in 1992 after she authored Jazz and in 2015 when she published God Help the Child.
Please Sublet My Apartment
Graham Techler and Alexander Laird illustrate a humorous list of features of an apartment available for sublet.
Trump: Kap should get job ‘if he’s good enough’
President Donald Trump says he thinks quarterback Colin Kaepernick should return to the NFL “if he’s good enough.”
