Do Lawyers Make Good Mates?

We all look for compatibility in a mate (husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc.) but are there certain traits which make it difficult to End of lawyers relationshiplive with lawyers?

I decided to look at one set of traits in particular associated with lawyers. Thought Catalog lists the following “Traits of Lawyers”:

  1. A know-it-all vibe
  2. Pessimism
  3. Anal-retentive
  4. Excessive usage of fancy words
  5. Social skills
  6. Risk-aversion
  7. Drink like fish
  8. Dry dispassion
  9. Highly competitive
  10. Self-focus

Now do the above traits make for a good relationship? I don’t know. Having dated a lawyer (or 2) I have first hand knowledge on this subject. Let’s look at these traits one at a time.

A know-it-all vibe
Absolutely. Sometimes lawyers act like they are like their television counterparts who are all-knowing and clairvoyant. The truth is they are just like the rest of us and have their limitations. They know a lot about lawyer stuff but may not be up to speed on other subjects. Also a lawyer who specializes in one type of law may not know much about another type. They are nice to have around though when you need to be represented in court!

Pessimism
Many lawyers have to deal with a lot of bad people. When you see so many people at their worse it may be difficult for you to see your significant other in a positive light. To offset this you need to get them out into the real world where most people are not criminals. This will give them a more balanced perspective on life.

Anal-retentive
This trait is important to have for a lawyer who is doing their work. When you hire a lawyer you want them to have attention for detail so they don’t miss something that might impact you negatively. I have found though that since lawyers have to be so anal-retentive in their job they go to the other extreme in their personal life. Don’t expect them to be clean-a-holics or detailed oriented in other areas. This is where you will need to take up the slack.

Excessive usage of fancy words
This comes with the neighborhood. The law requires many fancy and complicated words to be precise. Go with the flow. If you don’t understand them just ask them to explain. They will love knowing that they are the expert (see number 1 above).

Social skills
Now I don’t know where this one came from because all lawyers don’t have great social skills though it does help when they do. If this is one of their strong suits though that’s great. This can be a positive for you as well.

Risk-aversion
Ah, here’s the rub. Is marriage a risk? If so it can take a lot to convince a lawyer to take the plunge. If they do say yes be ready for a long negotiation of the prenup!

Drink like fish
I would drink like a fish also if I had to defend guilty people all day. There aren’t too many lawyers who only work for people they think are innocent. Also because of all the networking lawyers have to do (and their social skills) they have to drink a lot for the job. You just need to make sure that your lawyer doesn’t go overboard with the drinking.

Dry dispassion
Lawyers certainly have to have a certain level of detachment from their clients just like a doctor has to have a similar detachment from their patients. If they get to emotionally involved it can impact their objectively in negative ways and it can also cause them to drink even more than they are inclined to. You will have to help them leave the office at work when they are home and give them lots of love.

Highly competitive
You don’t want to win an argument do you? or a race? or a game? or a anything? Lawyers didn’t get to where they are by being passive. The law is a competitive field and it can be difficult to come down from that on a personal level. You will be more successful in a relationship with a lawyer if you can hold your own in this area.

Self-focus
Now I don’t know if you can put this on most lawyers. Some of them are more focused on their clients, job, task, etc. If they are self-focused though look for signs of being excessively self-focused as this may lead to anxiety disorders.

There you have it. So does the above mean that you should not have a relationship with a lawyer? Not at all. You just need to be aware of some of the traits above and be ready to counteract them if necessary.

For more resources see 50 Secrets Of Blissful Relationships.

 

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